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The pause of a cancelled day

My husband stumbles through wearing 10-year-old sleeping shorts and a pilled tee, boldly lettered with "mega van family fun" alongside a HUGE minivan print.  Trailing behind him is a sleepy mushy-haired 4yo ,  a 2yo grumbling for "bottie milk" and a went-to-bed-in-my-school-clothes 7yo , who is dressed for the day, although somewhat rumpled.  Everyone had overslept, our two big girls are, in fact, still sleeping. ....and it is admittedly all my fault.  I had woken up at the crack of dawn and crept out of bed to write.    The stillness had been so tangible, the soft sleepy noises so lulling .... That instead of waking them all up at our usual mad-rush-get-ready-for-school deadline time ,  I had paused and decided on a whim to cancel the day.  Today is going to be schedule-free. No school, no errands, no agenda. I shoo the sleepy-heads back to bed, no protests from a single one.  I'm planning to crawl back under the covers myself and enjoy the l
Recent posts

Vader: Loving and losing a best friend

Six months ago, my eldest daughter lost a best friend , her cat, Vader.  Having recently known and tasted the depths of grief myself, and knowing my daughter as I do,  I tried to help her process it.  We camped out in her bedroom, just the two of us, and waited it out.  At first, I just held her through her first heart-wrenching wails.   I held her tighter as her tears became words, and we talked and we snuggled, and we remembered,  .... and eventually we smiled again   at all the stories that came flooding back to form  the threads that wove the fabric of   his life with us .  We celebrated who he was for the time that he was with us ,  and slowly my daughter began to grasp t he concept of loss.   It always hurts ,  it stings...   Sometimes it can hurt so much   that we forget to breathe , and it feels as though we will never again know the simplicity of happiness and just being again.  But the waves of pain washing over us do begin to settle,  and it is then that

Sticks versus grace... Choosing grace.

  For my lovely friend, Sally-Anne, who always brings light into my life,  and whose precious words I've quoted at the end. --------------- One of my diabetic patients asks me if she can eat "just one piece of cake each day." Flourless chocolate cake. With icing all around. Her family has recently celebrated a birthday and there is so much left over. "Just one piece a day... Until it is finished." She knows the answer, she hadn't needed to ask the question. And her pleading eyes reflect it. Yet her question invites me to hold out the big stick, .. to rap her over the knuckles and set the no-more-chocolate-cake limits for her. And it's sometimes far easier this way , feigning ignorance, proverbially hiding an ostrich-head in the sand and taking no responsibility. So I hesitate in weighing my answer, hoping to choose the kindest, most helpful words possible to answer her rhetorical question. I already know sh

The prophecy of freedom - a Guest Blog

Another guest blog from my daughter, now 14 years old. This piece won the imaginative text response category of a local writing competition with "a prophecy to enhance CS Lewis' lovely book, 'Prince Caspian'." The prophecy of freedom  - a guest blog by Tianna Moo-shoo   I’m sure that most of the people who read this, have read the book “Prince Caspian” by C.S. Lewis. And I’m sure that most of you know it’s a great story.  But C.S. Lewis forgot one vital part of the story when he wrote the book. I’m not sure if he left it out on purpose or if he just forgot about it, but I thought that I should tell you anyway: After the night of Tarva and Alambil, Caspian and his tutor had many more secret conversations on top of the Great Tower, and at each conversation Caspian learned more about Old Narnia, so that thinking and dreaming about the old days, and longing that they might come back, filled nearly all his spare hours. But one of his favour

our season of trials and hibernation... a lesson in faith and gratitude

    Late-nights-up-studying next to Mum, our JoJo  flatly refusing to go to sleep without me,  starting the night out with exceptional resolve...  "Mum, I'm going to be with you all-a-night, ...JoJo's going to help you all-a-time, Mum" , ..... so earnestly said with his big blue eyes.  And I melt just-a-little , nod gracefully, and try to turn back to the solemn task of haematology, or liver cancer, or something equally non-gripping when compared with a 4 yo's endearing smile,  ..... but all that I really  want to do is toss the books aside, and cuddle and tickle my JoJo  til he laughs all the way down to his squidgy toes! And as he quietly draws pictures beside me, his eyes grow tired and his body falls gently into sleep alongside me..   It is then, in the quietness of night,  when I am weighed down by thinking too-many-thoughts , and carrying too-many-burdens ,  that j ust pausing to watch our peacefully-sleeping-child   grounds